BlameBush
2/21/2003
 
Another one of the many advantages that Iraq has over the states in how secure their public schools are. In Amerikkka, one may find a school or two with metal detectors and an aging hall monitor with a faulty pacemaker, but Iraqi schools don't fool around. Every single school building has an anti-aircraft cannon on the roof, and a squadron of Iraqi tanks in the playground. Children are encouraged to play around the weapons where they'll be safe from hostile American fire. If only America were as thoughtful and caring about the welfare of its children.
2/17/2003
 
One thing I love about Iraq is that there's no bourgeoisie. There isn't even a petite bourgeoisie. There are no bourgeois SUV's rolling through town while the world burns. No bourgeois debutantes hanging out at bourgeois shopping malls. No bourgeoisie shopping malls, for that matter. Well, okay, there's the Saddam Hussein Shopping Mall and Family Fun Park, but that's a turd on the carpet. The point is, there is absolutely nothing bourgeois about Iraq. There's not much a proletariat, either, but that's because there's no bourgeoisie to exploit them. What am I getting at? Nothing really...I just like saying "bourgeois".
 
February 15th will go down as one of the defining moments in history, when millions of people from across the world came together in the name of peace, and to show their solidarity against Western imperialism. From France to Florida, men, women, trangenders, dwarves, albinos...people from all walks of life, stood together to shout out against the American infidels. Here in Bagdhad, our celebration was not much diffrent than those seen across the world, in every major city - Thousands of Iraqis gathered in the city to burn American flags, burn George Bush in effigy, and chant "Death to America" from sunrise to sunset. Alas, the world is coming together in love and support for Saddam.

I, however, spent most of the weekend with a car battery hooked up to my gonads again. It seems there's a new law
requiring all who pass the Great Towering Monument to Saddam on the corner of Hussein St. and Saddam Ave. to drop to their knees and kiss the statue's feet. I didn't know there was such a rule, but ignorance of the law is no excuse for breaking it.

So, by the time they let me out of the police station, the protests were over, and I couldn't walk very well anyway.

But I did get another free colonoscopy, which made up for it.


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