YEP, it's Official: conservatives are dumb.

A recent study at my ol' alma mater, UC Berkeley, concluded that the basic elements of conservative thinking are fear, agression, hatred, ignorance, racism, and cognitive uncertainty. It other words, conservatives are neanderthals.

Berkeley actually tested 100 conservative volunteers, asking them simple questions like "If your daughter was a lesbian, would you pay for her abortion?" and "How many poor, black children will have to die before you'll support a tax hike?" Most conservatives tested couldn't answer the questions, or simply refused to do so. Three out of every 10 subjects threatened the researchers with violence.

But of course, none of this is news to us; we've heard Geedumbya talk. The man can't even pronounce "nuclear", for goddess' sake. How are we supposed to get affordable health care for seniors when the pee-resident can't even string a few words together? Working families have to eat dog food so they can afford their sex change operations, and all he can think of is "Me smash Iraq. Me pound evil doers! RArrrgh!"

It's time we got someone in the White House with the intellectual firepower of a Dick Gephardt or a Walter Mondale. Maybe Jocelyn Elders could be persudaded to run.

I think a great way for democrats to attack Republicans would be to refer to them as "cowboys" and "John Wayne" wannabes. Since the average American hates cowboys and despises John Wayne, comparing republicans to such figures will have negative connotations. I mean, who would you rather have fighting terrorists: John Wayne or Carol Mosely Braun? Personally, I think we can do with less testosterone and more estrogen in this so-called War on Terror. That's why Hillary should throw her hat into the ring. There's nothing that can make a suicidal terrorist put down his guns and live a life of peace than a stern glare from mom.

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