BlameBush
9/04/2003
 
HOWARD DEAN, MAN OF THE PEOPLE
Alot of candidates try to pass themselves of as a "Man of the People". John Edwards calls himself one of "The Regular People", as opposed to one of "Irregular People", I guess. Al Gore said "I'm my own man!", and that's nice. But only Howard Dean can truly be called an authentic "Man of the People". If you doubt it, just look at the guy. He always appears with rolled up sleeves and sloppy tie, sending the message "I'm ready to get workin' for the people!" Forget that Dean probably hasn't done a day's worth or hard labor in his entire life - those rolled up sleeves mean he's just a regular blue collar joe, gosh darnit.

In contrast, look at Geedumbya. He always wears a suit and tie. You know what that says? It says "Look at me, I'm too self-important to dress down for you simple peasants." I guess he thinks he's better than the rest of us - except for when he's back on the Ranch, and then look at him. Sure, you'll dress like a slob for Barney and the twins, but try to get you to dress casual in the White House - good luck!

That's why Shrub will never be as great as Clinton. Ol' Bill was never too proud to walk around the Oval Office in boxer shorts and a ratty t-shirt.
 

 
My sister has lost her mind. Somehow, she let herself become convinced by her right-wing fascist husband that a woman's job is to marry and reproduce, and now she's hopelessly pregnant. But what annoys me far more than the fact that she's thrown away her career and spat in the face of women's lib by refusing to have an abortion, is her insistance on referring to the lifeless lump of good in her belly as "The Baby".

"The Baby is due in February!" she chirps.
"I can feel The Baby kick!" she giggles.
"We're naming The Baby after Jim's father!" she sings.

Women's rights activists have fought valiantly for years to dehumanize the unborn, and here's ol' sis, merrily throwing it all right back to the stone ages. I try to tell her, "Sis, it's not a Baby...it's a FETUS. It more closely resembles a shaved HAMSTER than a human being, and you're only fooling yourself if you think otherwise. Abort it immediately, before it can crawl out and vote Republican."

But she won't listen. In fact, she laughs at me.

"Okay, bro...how many people should I invite to the FETUS shower? That reminds me...I need to get to the Fetus Store and by some Fetus clothing for the Fetus! Hahahahahaa!"

When will George Bush and his right-wing bible-thumping cronies cease their relentless brainwashing of our youth?


Powered by Blogger