BlameBush
12/13/2003
 
Tricky Dick Screws You
No one is surprised that Halliburton has overcharged the U.S. billions of dollars for oil in Iraq. After all, that was the whole point of invading Iraq in the first place - to make Bush's big oil buddies even richer.

Halliburton, which is owned and operated by Dick Cheney, has been gouging taxpayers for years. But for any entity to profit from this war, and from the lost lives of American servicemen/servicewomen/servicetrangenders is simply unconscionable. Except for France and Germany, who fought against the war and should have every right to profit from our mistakes.

 
Tricky Dick Screws You
No one is surprised that Halliburton has permalink - posted by Liberal Larry @ 12/13/2003 10:29:00 AM
12/10/2003
 
Earth Ruined by Humans
The University of Virginia concluded that the world would be a much better place without humans on it.

It seems that even back during the ice ages, prehistoric man was causing global warming. It was probably one of George Bush's ancestors who first crawled out of primordial ooze and started clearcutting the forests, polluting the air, and putting arsenic in the drinking water. In fact, scientists now believe that the ice age was cut short by a few thousand years because humans started enslaving livestock, which caused methane levels to rise in the atmosphere.

Just think - if the Earth had never been cursed with the plague of humanity, Florida would have a booming ski resort industry today.

Chalk another one up for Bush and his big oil buddies.

 
Bush Insults French and German Allies
Bush's illegitimate son, Paul Wolfowitz, has thumbed his nose at our French, German, Russian, and Chinese allies by refusing them reconstruction conrtracts in Iraq. Sure, none of those countries spilled blood to free Iraq, but they armed and collabrated with Saddam, making him stronger and more defiant. There never would have been a war in Iraq if it weren't for the nations that spoke out strongly against it, thus giving Saddam the impression that the World Community was behind him. Where's the gratitude, Dubya?
12/09/2003
 
Howard Dean; Grassroots Personified
Al Gore, the one truly elected president, has annointed Howard Dean for the next President of the United States. This makes perfect sense, as both are rugged, flinty-eyed mavericks with strong, working class backgrounds. Al Gore and Howard Dean have what it takes to feel our pain and take our country back so we can hand it over to Kofi Annan. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if His Holiness Kofi endorses Dean as well, since it's Dean who will happily surrender this silly War on Terror and focus the nation on what's really important - safe, affordable, and convenient partial birth abortions for underage teens.

"It's grass-roots," President Gore explained. "It's all about the grass-roots. Dean is grass-roots. I am grass-roots. Therefore, I stand behind Dean and his grass-roots campaign to take our country back!"

That's how I know Al Gore is a Man of the People. He really cares about the grass-roots, because he's been there. He grew up amongst the grass and the roots of Tennesee, where there was nothing to eat but roots and grass. He smoked alot of grass in college, then enlisted and served valiantly in Vietnam, where he crawled through the elephant grass and roots, collecting ears from dead VietCong. Let's face it, Al Gore is as grass-roots as they come.

The only person more grassroots than Al Gore is Howard Dean. He's as grassroots as Wilford Brimley sitting on your front porch with an ice cold glass of lemonade. He's grassroots, like Mom's apple pie cooling on the window sill in the quiet gloam of a hot august sunset. He's a laughing, freckle-faced girl on an old tire swing. He's a barefoot race to the swimming hole. He's a smalltown country doctor, who gives you a shot of castor oil for whatever ails you, then sends you on your way with a cherry lollipop and a pat on the head. Yes, Howard Dean is grassroots. Howard dean IS America.

From sea to shining sea.


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